CAST: Tobey Maguire (Spider-Man/Peter Parker), Kirsten Dunst (Mary Jane Watson), James Franco (New Goblin/Harry Osborn), Thomas Haden Church (Sandman/Flint Marko), Topher Grace (Vnom/Eddie Brock), Bryce Dallas Howard (Gwen Stacy), Rosemary Harris (May Parker), J.K. Simmons (J Jonah Jameson), James Cromwell (Captain Stacy), Theresa Russell (Emma Marko) SCR: Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi and Alvin Sargent DIR: Sam Raimi STUDIO: Sony Pictures MPAA: PG-13 for sequences of intense action violence. RUNNING TIME: 140 min. OFFICIAL SITE: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/spiderman3/site In my review of the first Spider-man movie (2002), I compared it to all the films that got it wrong, the most notorious example being the overstuffed parade float known as Batman and Robin (1997). And while we're on the topic, riddle me this: why do high concept series and superhero movies in particular careen so badly into camp and excessiveness by the time they reach Part III? X-Men: The Last Stand. Superman III. Batman Forever. The Godfather Part III. The pop culture landscape is riddled with examples in which Part II was creatively superior to the first, but Part III is such a bloated frantic mass of misguided intentions that only a spectacular skidmark is left in its wake. Usually, it is the departure of a key member of the filmmaking team or cast that creates a tone shift, which is why it's inexplicable that Sam Raimi's name still appears on this film. It should be credited to Alan Smithee, because Spider-man 3 sure doesn't feel like a Sam Raimi film. Instead, it feels like a movie stitched together by a committee of bean counters, Sony stock holders and toy license holders. And there's Sam Raimi, arms folded, in the back of the room. In Spidey 2, Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) and Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) kept breaking up and getting back together. More of that! And everybody loved Dock Ock. More! No, two villains! And make them both sympathetic. And don't forget Harry Osborn (James Franco), the Green Goblin's offspring who has been steamed at Peter for two whole movies now! Yeah, him too. And we can have him and Peter breaking up and getting back together - not once, but twice! Yep, Part III usually goes horribly wrong when the cries of "more is better" permeate the creative process. At one point, Spider-man/Peter Parker encounters a new villain and wonders aloud, "Where do these guys come from?" Yeah, me too. Spider-man 2 was such an unparalleled creative success with rooted characters, symbolism, solid performances and believable special effects - it was lightning in a bottle, a truly great entry in any genre, that just happened to be the one with superheroes in it. It succeeded by making us cheer for the main character: as Spider-man gained his footing, Peter's life was a shambles. In Part 3, Peter is cocky from all of Spider-man's newfound fame and this new direction is not a good face. It accomplishes exactly the opposite effect but making us want this smug prick taken down a few notches. It doesn't help when an evil black symbiot blob happens to crash down mere feet away from Peter and Mary Jane snuggling on a massive spider web and takes over his body. More specifically, it takes over his red and blue Spidey suit. When he wears the black suit, he's empowered by the evil that lurks within, and when he takes it off, he's back to being good ol' Peter. But now there are two suits - a black one and a red/blue one (does the symbiot knit?) - and at one point, Peter brings the black blobby thing to a college professor who looks at it under a microscope and gives us Basil Exposition about how it emulates all that is bad about a person. Peter throws a glass over it, which contains it. How did Peter capture the wiggly thing and transport it? And couldn't he just throw the glass down the sewer and be done with it? And when Peter finally frees himself of the Evil Black Suit and the alien wiggly creature falls onto rival photographer Eddie Brock (Topher Grace) and turns him into Venom, then why, oh why, does Vemon look like Spider-man with a big clawed mouth? I thought Basil had told us that the thing that it brings out the evil within us. Does Eddie Brock also have a Spider-man costume? My brain hurts. In the “continuity be damned” department, didn't Mary Jane leave Daily Bugle publisher J Jonah Jameson's son at the alter, only to take up with Peter Parker? You mean to tell me that Jameson wouldn't have fired his ass over that? In the final battle, Parker's Spider-man mask is off, then it's ripped so you can see one eye, then it's off again. Remember the old butler in the sprawling Osborn mansion? Me neither. But he remembers a few things that he probably should have brought up a couple of movies ago. Spider-man 3 has more convenient bouts of forgotten facts, amnesia and interrupted conversations than a week's worth of General Hospital. You know the old device about advancing the plot by having TV reporters fill in huge gaps to save time? The one in Spider-man 3 is a whopper, condensing what should have been a suspenseful reveal into a ham-fisted shortcut. Most hilariously, a character suffers a blunt force explosion near his face and shows up the very next day looking like he had endured years of careful reconstructive surgery. I'm no medical expert, but I'm guessing the next day, this guy's face would have still looked like a pizza. Remember how Uncle Ben was killed at the hands of a nameless criminal in Spidey 1? Turns out that his accomplice was Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church), a beefy convict who recently escaped from prison. Confused? Newly filmed scenes pad out the existing flashbacks to shoehorn the new plot in. Also turns out that Marko isn't really that bad a guy, he was really only trying to steal money to save his dying daughter. I'm not kidding. Oh, and while he is on the run, he climbs a fence and stumbles right into an experiment that turns him into a big pile of sand. Sucks to be him. No, actually it sucks to be in the audience. Compare Church's monosyllabic grunts and brutish mopey staring to the earthy performance of Spidey 2 villain Alfred Molina and there is no contest. This guy is just a big dustbowl. So much was made of the whole Black Spidey evil turn but frankly, evil Tobey Maguire is kinda pathetic and funny. He makes smarmy “gotcha” motions toward hot women, he dances down the street and brings new love interest Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard) to the very jazz club that Mary Jane happens to be slinging drinks at. What are the chances that of all the all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into hers? Guess. Maguire busts a move with Gwen to make Mary Jane jealous and despite being played straight, the scene comes off only slightly less humorous than the dance sequence in Jim Carrey's The Mask. And while we're on the subject, the addition of Gwen Stacy to this current plotline is just insulting. After all, it was Stacy's comic book demise that elevated Spider-man to legendary status in the 1970's, an event that was replicated in the first movie with Mary Jane and different results. In all fairness, Spider-man 3 has some nice moments. An out-of-control crane sequence is easily the film's most impressive set piece. But right in the middle of the sequence in which a woman dangles over the edge of a crumbling building is a painfully unfunny interlude in which the girl's boyfriend “breaks it” to her father that he's been seeing her. Seconds later, she falls, only to be swooped up by Spider-man. Aren't either of these guys - you know - concerned that she is inches away from her demise? Topher Grace is all swagger until his inevitable transformation. Rosemary Harris has a thankless turn as the pontificating Aunt May, but remains a delightful presence nonetheless. A few fights kick ass and a few effects shots are sweeping and interesting. But too much of the action looked like a video game. Thank goodness for the mighty Bruce Campbell, who all but steals the entire film and he's only in one scene. Howard's Gwen Stacy isn't a bimbo or a cartoon villain. In fact, she was played so straight, I was kinda hoping Mary Jane wouldn't make it out of that suspended car at the end. Dunst's routine was so fresh in the first Spidey movie but now Mary Jane is a pouty, self-absorbed twit. Every time she grows weary of Spider-man's attention in response to her own failings as an actress, she grows into a truly unlikable character. She hooks up with Peter's best friend, grows jealous and possessive over other women and ultimately, lies to him and breaks his heart. She makes Superman Returns' Lois Lane look like a real catch. Worse, Maguire is grating here, which is particularly frustrating after his winning performances in the first two. When he blubber-cried in the first movie, it was raw and heartbreaking. When he does the same thing here - twice - you just want the guy to grow a freakin' spine. In the end, Spider-man 3 is critic-proof and filled with empty calories, designed to make Sony more money. But those enamored with the thrills and pathos of the superlative Spider-man 2 will be sorely disappointed. More is most certainly not better. --reviewed by DENNIS WILLIS